The Delicate Balance: Trusting God Without Trying to Control Him

In our journey of faith, we often grapple with the desire to see our deepest wishes fulfilled. We may find ourselves bargaining with God, thinking that if we just pray hard enough, believe strongly enough, or act righteously enough, He will grant us the desires of our hearts. But is this truly how our relationship with God should work?

Let's explore a profound truth that challenges this common misconception and invites us into a deeper, more authentic connection with our Creator.

The Pitfall of Contract Theology

Many of us, consciously or unconsciously, approach our relationship with God as if it were a contract. We adopt various postures - life under God, life over God, life from God, or life before God - all in an attempt to control or manipulate God into giving us what we want. This mindset, which we might call "contract theology," is rooted in fear and the desire for control.
While these approaches may seem like valid responses to God, they become problematic when they become our primary orientation. They subtly perpetuate the rebellion of Eden, cloaking our self-interest in the garb of obedience. The underlying premise is that if we do the right things, God is obligated to bless us.

This belief system puts immense pressure on us. How good is good enough to merit God's favor? When we fail to achieve our desired outcomes, we're left feeling guilty for not trying hard enough or disillusioned with a God who seems to have let us down.

Misinterpreting Scripture: The Case of Psalm 37:4

A classic example of how this misunderstanding plays out is in the interpretation of Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

At first glance, this verse seems to support the idea of a transactional relationship with God. Many have taken it to mean that if we find complete satisfaction in our relationship with God, He will grant us whatever we wish for - be it a perfect spouse, a dream job, or healing from illness.

However, this interpretation fails to consider the nature of biblical wisdom literature and the broader context of the psalm. Psalm 37 is not a set of ironclad promises, but rather a collection of proverbs - poetic guidelines for godly living based on observations of how life generally works.

The True Meaning in Context

When we examine Psalm 37 in its entirety, we see that it's addressing a different issue altogether. The psalmist is grappling with the age-old question: Why do the wicked seem to prosper while the righteous suffer? The instruction to "delight yourself in the Lord" is part of a larger exhortation to trust in God's ultimate justice, even when circumstances seem unfair.

In this light, "the desires of your heart" likely refer not to any random wish, but to the righteous longings of those who are aligned with God's will - things like seeing justice prevailed, experiencing God's protection, and ultimately inheriting the promised land.

A New Testament Perspective

As we move into the New Testament, we find a more nuanced understanding of how God relates to our desires:

God is indeed generous and rewards those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6, James 1:17).
God promises to meet our needs, not necessarily our wants (Philippians 4:19).
Sometimes, even fervent prayers of righteous people are not granted in the way they expect (2 Corinthians 12:7-9).
Jesus Himself models surrendering our desires to God's will (Luke 22:42).

Reframing Our Approach

So how should we approach our relationship with God and our deepest longings? Here are some key insights:
Remember that God always takes the initiative. Our trust and obedience are responses to His prior action and revealed character.
Cultivate genuine delight in God. This isn't about manufacturing feelings, but about growing in our knowledge of Him through His Word and His works in the world.
Pray for your desires, but hold them loosely. Trust that God will grant what is truly beneficial and in line with His purposes.
Be grateful for every fulfilled desire, recognizing it as a gift from a generous God.
Prioritize delighting in God for who He is, not as a means to obtain secondary blessings.
Recognize how our unfulfilled desires can actually draw us closer to God, pointing us toward ultimate fulfillment in Him.

The Deeper Longing

Perhaps the most profound realization is that our desires - even the noblest ones - are manifestations of our inherent incompleteness. From the beginning, humans were designed to find completion in relationship - first with God, then with each other. Even the intimacy of marriage, as beautiful as it is, is meant to kindle a hunger for ultimate union with our Creator.

This means that in this life, we will always experience some level of unfulfilled longing. Rather than seeing this as a flaw or a sign of God's neglect, we can embrace it as a holy discontent that keeps us reaching for something beyond this world.

Contentment in the Journey

The invitation, then, is not to engage in an unrelenting pursuit of happiness through the fulfillment of our desires. Instead, we're called to find contentment in God and the ways He has already blessed us, while looking forward to the day when all our deepest longings will find their ultimate fulfillment in unhindered communion with Him.

This perspective frees us from the exhausting cycle of trying to manipulate God or earn His favor. It allows us to rest in His love, trusting that He is working all things together for our good, even when we can't see it.

As we learn to delight ourselves in the Lord - to truly find joy in knowing and being known by Him - we may find that our desires begin to shift. The things that once seemed so crucial fade in importance, while the longing for God's presence and the advancement of His kingdom grow stronger.

In the end, the most satisfying life is not one where we get everything we want, but one where we discover that God Himself is the answer to our heart's deepest cry. May we all grow in delighting in Him, trusting His generous heart, and looking forward to the day when every good desire finds its perfect fulfillment in His presence.